In the adult class at church Sunday we talked about boldness. Specifically, Peter's boldness. His willingness to step out and be bold sowed the way for his miraculous walking on water, preaching the message on the day of Pentecost, and led him to the many people that were healed and saved by God through him. But before he was a disciple and preacher, he was a fisherman. Just a fisherman, out on the boat, minding his own business. I’m sure he had never dreamed of the turn his life was going to take the day he met Jesus. Jesus saw his heart, his potential, and still called him, knowing full well of his hard headedness and impulsive tendencies.
The idea of being used by the Lord is great! Sometimes the actual being used is hard. The Lord tells us to be bold in proclaiming Him. He gives us an authority that can only come through him and we shouldn't hide it or be shy about it. I would consider myself a (mostly) outgoing person, an extrovert even, but I struggle with true boldness. I was reminded during the lesson Sunday of an opportunity that I had and missed. I often replay the moment in my head and imagine how things could have been different if I had had some boldness.
My friend, my boys and I had gone into town to spend the day and shop at the places we make a special trip for. One of those stops happened to be a Barnes & Noble. We wandered around a while and all picked out a new book. We were in the car and loaded back up when I remembered a birthday coming up and decided to get her gift there. My friend volunteered to stay in the car with the boys and let me run back in really quick. There I was, browsing the wall of journals and devotionals when a lady I’d never met came and stood next to me. Other than 1 employee a little ways down and another at the checkout, we seemed to be the only people there. We silently thumbed through a few devotional books and read a few excerpts before she mentioned wanting to buckle down and start doing Bible reading and study. I smiled and agreed that it was a great habit to get into. She then continues to tell me about the rough year she has had and some new health issues she has been dealing with. I politely chit chat some, but in my mind I know that I have people waiting for me in the car. I make my selection and head to the checkout. NO SOONER than I start to walk away, that small voice in my mind says “you should ask to pray with her.” And so starts the internal battle. I have every excuse. “ We are in the middle of a store, you don’t know her, I’m not that type (insert my lack of boldness here) I am in a hurry….” I continue through the checkout and pay for my items. I was almost in tears by the time I got back to the car and my friend asked what was wrong. I told her I was supposed to pray with a lady in there and could not bring myself to do it. WHY? I have the Holy Ghost and have prayed to be used. I want to be a light in a dark world, I try to look set apart, and yet, given the opportunity to, I failed. That day lingers in my mind as a reminder to look for those moments. The Lord put her in my path and I let my own lack of confidence keep me from being able to bless her. Peter would have prayed for her.
For now, I will work on my confidence and prepare myself to be bold the next time I get a chance. I challenge you to do the same. Look for a moment to step out. There are plenty of people who could use some prayer, and so many more lost in this world needing to hear about Jesus.
“And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word.”
Acts 4:29 KJV